Self – Care & Moving Forward

If you have been reading my blog posts — I’ve been trying to care for myself both professionally and personally. Since July I have been working on making new changes. Usually, I’ve been fearless about making major changes in my life but when it came down to relocating from one state to another for the second time. It made me realize it would be challenging. I convinced myself that I could relocate again and be successful which I think I could have made it but the risks were higher for me. I decided to confide with a few colleagues and friends who supported me but a close friend of mine crunched a few estimated numbers that I didn’t consider. This was a reality check  for me.  Potentially, I can achieve my short term goals in this town. Once I become more financially stable, I can look into relocating , if I so desire.

A quick recap from where I am from originally. So I was born and raised in New York City, a population of 8.55 million (2018 census). I moved to Arkansas a population of 3.02 million (2018 census). The county that I live in currently is estimated about 29,318 people. At some point this town in the 1950’s there were 8,000 people. I’m still learning about this town and I’ve noticed that most people that I have met are not originally from AR. We have a mixture of people from California, to South/Central America, and people coming from neighboring areas.

As you can read there is a great difference in population, there’s a difference in political views (this state is predominantly Republican) , and the culture is more homogeneous. I miss diversity, I miss hearing different languages, I miss the different foods, I miss seeing bright colorful murals (I think NYC has some amazing street artwork), and I miss my friends that I grew up with. It’s been a major adjustment for me and I needed to make changes if I’m going to live here.

Thus, I spoke to my Supervisor about my situation and she encouraged me to take care of myself and my needs. One thing led to another when I spoke to the Children’s supervisor about a change in job description — now I will be working full time with children ages K to 5th grade. I am getting my photo ID today to do counselings at schools and at our outpatient clinic.  I am nervous and excited. I would like to focus on trauma within children’s childhood and providing additional services for Spanish speaking parents.

To wrap this post, please send me comments of questions or topics you would be interested in knowing about me or my professional career.

I’ve been considering posting a few blog videos in the near future.

Continuing education credits/units

Over the weekend I wanted to get a head start on my continuing education units. I find out that I cannot do much until I get that letter in the mail….so I’ll be waiting until July 21st hopefully they have my most recent address.

Based in the state that I am current living in I am required 48 hrs of continuing education for the next 2 years just to be eligible to renew my licence.

So I did some math.

48 hours in 2 years is about 24 hrs yearly, divide that per month, at least 2hrs of training at least!

 

3hrs must be professional ethics

20hrs can be online training within the 2 years frame.

 

48 hrs needed minus 20 hrs online = 28hrs outside of field of practice* (Sort of) lets just call them seminars

 

I have already set aside webinars that I want to do in the fall so I don’t fall behind with my counting education which we call them for short CEU = continuing education units (in case you read my blog and question what is CEU)

 

Perhaps when I have my official licence # I will post a schedule of my webinars, this will help me be accountable of what needs to get done.

I’m starting to gradually feel better internally doing yoga and gradually being active again.

This feels like a new book in my life,  it’s not a new chapter. It feels as if I’ve entered in a new kind of privilege and figuring out how to make it worth it for those who are disadvantaged.

BALANCING SOCIAL WORK INTERVENTIONS AND PERSONAL VALUES

 

 

Passed My Exam

I will never forget July 7. 2017.

My exam was at 8am, time lotted for 4 hrs.

Scored 100 correct out of 96 questions needed to pass the exam and used 3 hrs time to complete it.  This was not my first time taking it, so you can imagine gettin

g to the testing center and becoming anxious while you wait to get registered.

Two co-workers and the few social workers friends that I left behind in NYC suggested I celebrate. But I won’t celebrate until I have my Clinical Licence. I celebrated

yesterday by

At a nearby lake

doing yoga and mowing my lawn with an awesome electric mower!This has been by far the hardest obstacle in my starting career that I have encountered so far, it took me a year and 2 months to pass. I was stressed, exhausted, and fatigued mentally these past 14 months.

I can finally read, color, paint, return to playing my viola, and other active activities. My next goal is to get my health back in shape, I have been suffering from physical symptoms for quite some time and need to make sure I am healthy in order to start jogging 3 miles or more a day.

Exciting news, yes.  Yet, my career is never ending, I am required to take credit courses yearly to meet licensing standards. And I love it.

Pursuit with Purpose

I’ve started listening to my old podcasts again, it’s been over 2 years since I’ve stopped listening to some of  my inspirational, educational and motivator pod-castors.

I started watching youtube videos about motivational speakers such as Elon Musk. Then started watching ways to set goals. I’m at a point in my life that I need to redefine what I want in my life. I will be in my 30’s in less than 4 years. I want to make sure I get a head start before reaching that age and feel even more unstable mentally. 

Many of my friends and much less my family, perhaps have not realized that I struggle with depression and anxiety. Over the years, I’ve controlled it the best I could.  I have times that I fall in deep sadness, unmotivated and not caring about my physical appearance.   In both stages of  depressed and euthymic mood I am always worry about not meeting my goals. I go down a list of everything that could go wrong and will make a list of  things to do before I start slipping.  I really didn’t notice how much I was holding until March of this year 2017. I was driving in the highway at 80mph and wanted to die – after failing an important exam- I came to my apartment and cried for what felt like hours. I knew at that point I couldn’t give up.  I got some help from a mentor who helped me get back up and I started practicing  mindfulness therapy because I knew it was  the only option I had  at time that could help myself. I gradually started seeing a difference in me. I noticed when I listen to motivational speakers they speak about some sort of mindfulness  in which is essential to controlling your  emotions. By just ‘”asking your self what is you body feeling right now,” really opens insight to your inner body speaking to you.  I should save this for another blog post. 

Point is I stumbled upon a youtuber who recommended  Melyssa Griffin  I finished listening to her podcasts. And here is one that she recommends in her first episode to do.  She encourages us to write. I stopped writing within the past two years. I burned 7 notebooks from middle school to college. I was done reliving the past. I am here now, looking ahead to start a new journey in my 30’s.  

 

I hope I inspire you to do the same. To whoever is reading this, I am honest with my responses and encourage you reflect on your life and ask yourself what is your purpose in life. If you struggle answering this — start making changes. Start doing your own research of what you want in life. Begin by writing what you enjoy the most.

 

#PURSUIT WITH PURPOSE:

Task: imagine you are 90 years old, on your death bed. You reflect the following 4 questions.

1. What would you look back in your life and know it was super fun for you.

 

As of right now, my mind is blank. I don’t ask for much in life. I would want to know that I helped other young adult women like me, first generation, minorities, and that they will return the service to their younger generation.  This did not answer the question. Give me a moment to think.

I have traveled to a few places already and living there was fun. Perhaps knowing that I took risks, such as doing something new, learning something new. I am having a hard time defining what super fun looks like for me.  Doing family trips? I really don’t know how to answer this question.

2. How would people describe you, who where you in your life?
   1. Loyal
   2. Committed
   3. Persistent
   4. Risk taker
   5. Hard worker
   6. Giving service – helping the community that I lived in
   7. Being kind but also not letting others step over boundaries
   8. Fighter
   9. Creative / artistic
   10. As a person that helped others with nothing in return.

 

3. Why were you born? Why do you feel you were born? (this highlights getting rid of insecurities )

Truthfully, this question bothers me. I was born in selfishness of my mother who wanted a girl. My father wanted boys, and he had 3 of them, so he was happy.  I tease my parents that they should have protected themselves.  The question also bothers me because if it wasn’t for the personal trauma that I lived in my childhood — I don’t know if I would have entered  into social work field.   It’s a blessing and a curse.  I have physical insecurities more than mental.  But let’s get back to the question. Perhaps, I was born to protect others? That’s how I feel, wanting to prevent others from hurting another human being. I dislike disloyalty and manipulation. I was born to care for others when they are perhaps feeling down? Once again that’s how I feel. My calling is to be a social worker serve for others, sacrifice myself for others. Okay, maybe that was dramatic. But that’s how I feel.

 

4. In your current life, what is aligned to your purpose / vales and what isn’t. What needs to change?

What’s aliened to my purpose: being a social worker, having my own place, my own bookshelf (I have always wanted one), being creative in any way, being with someone that also believes in social change of some sort,

What’s not aliened to my purpose: doing endless documentation at work and being a workaholic–  sacrificing my social time over work,  being in a long distance relationship for more than two years, and managing my parent’s financial assets since I was 18 years old * (this can also be saved for another blog post)

 

First blog post

Hey Everyone,

Starting this blog to keep track of my personal growth and as my self care blog.

 

I will start off by writing a few personal goals:

• continue studying
• continue my clinical hours
• continue exercising
  • walk an extra mile to refresh my mind and soul
• read more!